Ray was my brother, my friend and one of my kids. I know that seems weird to say he was all those things to me (and Rachel) but for many of you I think you can identify with one or all of these relationships yourselves. He was a brother because of shared lives, convictions and/or experiences. I met so many teammates, classmates and neighbors yesterday. I made the comment that I think there are more people from his class of 2008 than would attend a class reunion. I was excited that y’all knew Ray’s personality and had great times with him too. Ray was the master of experiences- there may not been enough he could or wanted do. And when he did something he was all in. That meant you had to be all in to it with him. He made us better with his passion and persistence and was at his best in that environment.
Everyone was his friend, Ray could not have enemies, cause he made everyone like him. The person who thought least about Ray was probably himself but damned if he wouldn’t win himself over from time to time. Lastly, Ray was a son to as many would have him. From the coaches, teachers, leaders, mentors, sponsors, pastors etc that were in Ray’s life, he had a thirst to be taught, molded, affirmed and discipled. I had resisted this role for a few years with Ray as I watched his brash behavior and reckless maneuvers ( lie flips at the waterfall, or jumping out planes, or grabbing a bull by the balls, or kissing goats, toads or god knows what else). Then I saw his heart. Ray and I had a 2 hour trip to the cape when he needed to go into yet another sober house. He and I talked about his goals and his dreams and I saw that he could and would do great things. So as I traveled back, I realized that with whatever time we had together when he was on we would do that. And we did in Honduras, Amesbury and all through this region. He stopped calling me Jonny (which I hated but never said anything) and started calling me Papa Jon. It’s funny how a name can have so much meaning and my other “kids” also started calling me this. It made me realize that not just Ray and I, but we all as a church had evolved into family. Not one of blood but one of Spirit. We began to talk with each other in more deeper healing ways, the whole church family and many we’re being changed including Ray.
See we all suffer from hurts, pains, breaks in relationships etc that untreated, haunts us so that we have to cope. Some choose drugs or alcohol, others screen time like TV, phone or gaming, some gambling and others vanity. Anything we use to cope with our hurt, habits and hang-ups is not the best. Some are definitely more dangerous physically, others more dangerous mentally or spiritually. Ray’s got to him in the flesh but I know without doubt when Ray’s body was failing God ran to him, scooped him up and carried him home. That kid loved God, loved others and did good. I am proud of his life and wanted more of it. Often when there’s a void or loss in our lives that hole is filled with anger, hurt, pain, guilt, sadness etc. We have the opportunity to allow the love of God Ray shared with us to live on in and through us. To fill that hole of his loss til it overflows to others. And together we can continue the work of love that was our ray of light, the same love felt by all who meet and knew Ray Ray.
~PAPA JON